Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
