I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
