ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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