Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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