Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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