alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
