Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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