We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
