Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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