She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
