I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
