Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
