Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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