There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
