If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
try to milk me bitch
Randomize