Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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