Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
