Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
