just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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