ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
