I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
