I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Welp...herpes.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
