he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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