All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it hurts more in the daytime
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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