I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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