I can text with my tongue
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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