haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
