Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Someone signed my nipple.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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