You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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