Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
