hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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