chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
