Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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