Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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