So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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