Its about making memories worth repressing
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
