I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
