there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
