i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
