just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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