the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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