I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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