there was a trapeze. enough said
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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