everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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