Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
