six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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