Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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