If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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