He is an equal opportunity slut.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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