omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
