Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
