Banned from zoo.
Again?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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