I think i peed on brittanys purse
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
