Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
