you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
