We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
