You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
