I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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