You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
