I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
