Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How external is "for external use only"?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
