Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
