Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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