But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
