now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
