Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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